So So Burlesque

What is with the college age population's numerous attemts to recreate themselves as Lady Gaga?

I'm so confused. I always considered pants mandatory, but they are apparently a thing of the past.

So, attempting biology studying for the Final of DEATH. Not joking. I'm almost positive this final will be the deciding factor on my grade (fail, not fail).

In other news, I realize I've been almost completely anti-social this semester. By that I mean, I signed up for a bunch of interesting clubs but attended none. Even Pagan Circle Joke Time has passed by the wayside. I received a very stressing email from them last night. Something about no one showing up for a rendition of Beowulf and Grendel with hot cocoa. I was busy, but did feel the need to attend. Apparently there is going to be some kind of mystical ritual next week. They didn't say anything in the email as to what kind of ritual, so I'm a little terrified of the possibility of a virgin sacrifice. I own no white dresses. slash would not care to be sacrificed by Vassar Pagan circle. (Satanic priest OK).

What else? Oh. I'm leaving for home on the 17th!! Ridiculously excited, but to be honest, not particularly looking forward to the shuttle, train, bus, and plane situation. I am quite the pleasant travel partner, but alone am typically the most neurotic and stressed I've ever been. I really don't know how to stress this fact. I cannot stand planes. Cannot. Seven hours might just kill me. (PS since when did it become 7 hours to get to SF?)

Ahh well I should study more. But I'm going to try to stay up for Primal Scream tonight because finals do indeed start tomorrow. They are also holding a midnight breakfast, but I'm personally not feeling DC-flavor at the moment.


Also as of recently I don't feel like divulging particularly interesting details of my life, as apparently people have been actually reading my blog.

Hmm.

I think I have the SWINE

Jovial Giants

Hey now.

I know I should be studying for the quiz I have in 45 minutes, and researching frozen food, and researching the ancient churches of Ethiopia, but I'm actually in such a good mood that the thought of all those projects and papers isn't even weighing me down (that much).

No idea why, but I am just generally cheerier today. Woke up at the butt-crack of dawn to get ready for my presentation in Bio. Not even sure how it went, but I think now that my brain sees the start of this ridiculous sequence of final events, it realizes that the hell is almost over, and the thought of going home trumps all the bad things right now. Really, small things that are minimally good (finishing presentation, getting my music off my ipod, sharing music with people, listening to Star Trek soundtrack, my new purple sweater) just makes me disproportionally happier than they should.

Ahh well I simply thought I should catalogue this rare moment in time and preserve it as a life support device for the harsh and terrible times to come!

Thank Buddha.

I'm sitting alone in the 3 tower common room, blogging and and listening to Feliz Navidad.

Could this possibly get more pathetic? Oh, right, it doesn't exactly help that I'm attempting to catch up on 5 chapters of biology.

I've forgotten, is it attractively kitschy or actually plain old desperate to listen to Christmas-music before December? Hang on...is that what I think it is? A Beach Boys rendition of Frosty the Snowman? And a horrific Andrea Bocelli/Muppets collaboration on Jingle Bells?  Oh my god!

What have I gotten myself into?

So, to recap- the rumors are true! It's officially Christmas Season. This means, according to our beloved (lite rock, less talk!) 96.5 KOIT radio, not only"The most wonderful time of the year" as well as "parties for hosting / Marshmallows for toasting / And caroling out in the snow" but also finals, term papers, presentations, long train/bus/plane rides home and leaving Vassar.

Well to be quite honest, I'm getting the homesick-bug more often now, especially when they continually insist on playing "I'll Be Home for Christmas".

Although I must say I am looking forward to the moment my Jet Blue flight touches down in SFO at 10:44 pm, and I see the freeway soaring away into the distance towards the city. So Dramatic!

Yesterday I headed down to the City to see the Macy's Day parade. I think I can sum the trip up in a few key statistics.

Woke up: 3:30 am.
Waited for Taxi in the cold: 30 mins
Street for parade viewing: 72nd
Level of Claustrophobia: Mosh-Pit
Children in Close Proximity: approx 800
Crying Children: approx 799.5
Vomiting Children: 2  (parents who cared: 0)
Subway rides: 4
Hot Dogs: 2
Famous People: 2 (Jimmy Fallon and Katharine McPhee?)
Touristy Moments: infinite.

Overall fairly successful. My only qualm was that I didn't have a Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm not crazy about Turkey in the first place. We had a less than decent Acropolis meal. There were a surprising number of people there for Thanksgiving dinner, but I suppose it's easier than cooking an entire meal.

But about now, I'm starting to realize (again) how much work I have to do, and how close it is to home time! First though, I have to research lampreys, which are legitimately vampire-eels.

Oh, speaking of which, I saw New Moon. Not much to say on the topic, but here is a little Mark Morford (with whom I am much too obsessed) ditty, Yeti Crabs Kill Vampires Dead, and the slightly older Let the Vampire Backlash Begin!

Finally, because I know I posted Scottish Man's Thanksgiving Tyrade last year, I will post it again.
Okay, so it's Thanksgiving Eve, and it's similar to last year's show but it's good!

Alright. That's about it.

Nope Nope Nope.

Are you kidding me, Poughkeepsie?

Ancient Radiators, Dunkin Donuts, DEER HUNTING SEASON?

Oh, Poughkeepsie. What were you thinking?

I honestly just got an email from Campus Security alerting me to the start of deer hunting season, and that by no means should I attempt to kill deer on campus, nor partake in extensive outdoor activities for the next three weeks, so as not to be mistaken by a deer and consequently slaughtered.

Dunkin' Donuts? Still havent' been. Don't want to. Actually, I did try a "Munchkin", aka donut hole, from after my Rocky Horror devirginization. (Did I mention this? Golden-Spandexed-Golden-Boy eating munchkins off my (fully clothed) crotch?) But otherwise, no Dunkins has taken place. People keep trying to explain to me (Amy, SVA) what it's all about, and I think I understand that it is like a donut place that also sells other fast foods. There is no West Coast equivalent. Hmm.

Radiators. They have radiators here. They bang and hiss during class when I'm talking so that I'm drowned out and either have to scream or wait until it's done having a little fit so I can talk. Quite irritating. Also, why the hell do they not have real heaters?

So many incomprehensible things! How will I ever cope?! Pushing Daisies or Biology? Pushing Daisies or Biology......

Free Fallin'

New Discovery: Grooveshark- streaming music online so I don't have to illegally download music on campus.

My major-achievement-of-the-day was, disastrously, not homework related, but good nonetheless. Roomie and I played annoying pep music and cleaned the room voraciously. My side (her side too) is now sparkly and thankfully stress free. Have you noticed that clutter induces stress? I'm not sure why, but it does. I also successfully did laundry and acquired an extension on a particularly annoying Archaeology homework.

I know I had said that I was not homesick before- for a really long time actually...but, it's starting to sneakily work its way into the back of my brain. It's very unwelcome, and I dislike it immensely. I think now that the campus isn't shiny and new, or gorgeously leafy and fall-colored, I'm starting to...occasionally, think of the motherland and wonder how Stonestown and West Portal and Genes and the L Taraval are. It will be weird when I do get home. (Winter Break. December 15. Last Final. Home.)

I have no legitimate reasons to be homesick (well....besides the unspeakable subject of biology). Cult Anth archaeology and, (presumably) astronomy are sitting pretty well. I pre-registered for next semester and I think I have a few badass classes (Western Religious Tradition?) (major sarcasm, for the record). But also like Human Origins, an English course on the Bronte's etc, and another Archaeology course on Ancient greece (ssooo excited for this) (no sarcasm). The only thing that majorly weirds me out is the fact that I can actually choose my own classes, because as of December 15/16th, I will have completed all my req'd courses. (This is why I love Vassar).

In other news, the Parentals are off galavanting in some godforsaken country (aka Vietnam?) and for once, my mother is not complaining about the flight/weather/food/general traveling complications.

Quick update- my roommate just had a mini catapult/gymnastics scenario off the bed. Oh! and we are toiling away attempting to devise a way to get out of the skylights and onto the roof.

Umm other news, I suppose justifies the existence of a weird mood lately? I cannot tell if other people have noticed, but I have, and I want it to go away. I know I say this all the time, but crap emotions are such a horrible distraction from work and general productive things. I hope it's just a retrospective couple of days, and not something that is related to the condition described above.

Unrelated, but it just popped into my head- last weekend marked the end of my first Vassar production, Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was a highly energy-zapping and....informative of the male anatomy of stage makeup. I must say, I became quite the pro at doing Riff Raff and Columbia's (red hair) makeup. Quite the pro.
The longer the show went on, the more it grew on me, and now I daresay I might even go with Andrew when I get back. (Note, I accidentally typed "we" instead of "I". Who is this? I ask. Who is this other secret and silent person in the room? Certainly not my multiple personalities, I think, as they have been lying low recently.)

The Rocky final show culminated in a Cast Party of epic proportions. Epic. I'm quite serious. I will have good blackmail material on April for a good couple of years now. I had a bit of fun, but I think I got a bit paranoid and thought everyone was ignoring me.... hmm hmm hmm. This is something I want to discuss. The Party Scene. Though, I suppose for me it would be the Party Corner, as I have only really explored a small area of it. I had no real expectations for what I would do in college, Corner-wise. Hmm I am feeling like this is a rant/one-sided discussion for another day.

I have to read an falsely-interestingly-titled book "The Devil Behind The Mirror" and maybe pretend to know how life works (biology).

Or....I could watch Pushing Daisies and console myself with Juno music. I can listen to absolutely sap music which probably won't help the general situation, but is good. Uh oh. I think this includes baby-sadness music. The song is actually one of my favorites on the soundtrack, but I can't stop horribly envisioning Juno-girl all aloney-on-her-owney in a hospital gown and then Michael Cera jogs in with his yellow shorts and wristbands and they pretend to be adults. It's actually disgusting.

Hmmmm.

Snooping.

From the adjacent room: thump fuck!, thump fuck!
Techie: Are you trying to jumprope with your boa...in heels?
Adjacent room: It worked the first time!

Jizzy Crizzy, boys and girls! I am one stressed out college student.

Currently backstage at the penultimate Rocky Horror Pictures Show rehearsal. I must say I'm getting very excited for this shindig to be over, as I quite honestly have not done homework in about two weeks. Fabulous.

Also currently writing a paragraph on a rock-type, trying to read a snazzy little piece of feminist archaeology, and, most frighteningly, fondling a blond wig. I didn't realize it was next to me until I put my hand down and felt a terrifyingly matted and straw-colored plastic stranded piece. Disgusting, but unfortunately not the worst to have graced my tender, innocent hands during this show. Heh. (not to imply)

In my many moons at college thus far, I have learned that any problem may be solved with a liberal amount of anti-bacterial soap. Any Problem.

Update: I just saw an enormous pair of flannel boxers decorated with the timeless phrase "It's Just a Flesh Wound!"

Alright, back in the dorm room, which is just starting to feel like home. With the roommate eating ice cream off a knife and speaking only in haikus, and neighbor insisting that I wake up tomorrow at 7 to get coffee.

Hmm, what else is important? Oh, right, extracurriculars.

....extracurriculars.

So, I really can't say that much here, obviously, as my mother will undoubtedly find this and sweep me instantly away to a convent. But what I can say is that I have engaged in a new type of...social interaction. I don't know how to describe it totally, but it's a good thing I have going, and it's certainly unofficial and untitled, which I like- but obviously not so that I can go off galavanting and generally slutting around. We all know, this is not my life. My life is much more me stressing about school work and then pretending it doesn't exist whilst I make bread pudding in our disastrously dirty dorm kitchen.

So, this is going to be a bit cut short because I'm tired and have work to do. More later, as always.

Oh Good Lord.

My new nocturnal lifestyle is starting to scare me.

I always thought college counselors lied when they said that students home on break would lead a life of debauchery and late nights. 

While the debauchery is surely still lacking, I am definitely feeling the late nights.

Well, anyways. I realize that I promised the legion of readers who follow me a more detailed description of extracurriculars, and while I dearly want to put it up now, I actually have some work to do, and thus mindless blogging shall commence. There will be few coherent sentences in this post, so gird your loins accordingly.

So it's October Break, and I've done pretty much nothing. 

I started The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, but still in the stage when they are introducing the plot and mysterious bits, and I can't say I find it quite as enticing or believable as Da Vinci Code or Angels and Demons. Like they were so believable. But still, you can see what I mean, right?

On the college front, I've decided to just be way more honest/open and leave the cryptic descriptions behind. Well, for the most part. 

See, in my mind, if I use code names and secretive language, my mother cannot possible know what I'm talking about. And while that little idea is probably true for the most part, I can't say that there some sort of garauntee she won't phone me up and demand to know why I am wasting my life away doing slightly illegal and unusual things.

Speaking of which, the last email my parents sent ended with "I hope you will tell us if something is going wrong"....so the probably assume I am doing cocaine every night or something of the sort. Good old coke. Yeeupp. They typically assume that when I am in a bad mood I am hiding all of my faults and losses from them, internalizing my emotion and doing all the good stuff that will land you in therapy. What they do not acknowledge is that I am, for the most part, a fully functioning adult (or, you know, human) who is generally in control of my own actions. Come to think of it, I have never not been in control of my actions. I don't quite think freshman year of  highschool counts, because I was fueled by some significant powers (to be read: hormones and the general mindset that is was appropriate and not frowned upon by society to become obsessed with a certain senior). (Okay, I am making it sound way worse than it was, and for the record, for the sake of a new lurker on this blog, I must insist that I rarely lose sanity.)

So. Anyway. I forget what I was trying to say before. I realize my parents in some way or other worm their way into most of my posts. It's quite depressing.

So, from now on, less censoring, less attempts to embody Robert Langdon and more accurate retelling of my ridiculously entertaining life.

To start off this new thread, I can recount one of the more appropriate stories from last Sunday.

A friend of my hallmate's is visiting, so they decided to procure some liquid of an infamous nature to...more or less have fun. I wasn't feeling it but hung around anyway. After the...imbibing....(I don't want to sound too adult here) they decided they had a desperate need to smoke some cigars. Not the massive ones all the boys broke out on graduation day, but the slim, feminine (right..), flavored cigars with little mouthy bits on the end. Like so. But to obtain said items, we needed to venture into the the late night underworld of Poughkeepsie.

Don't be fooled. Po-town's happy-go-lucky name and location in the beautiful Hudson valley have not in any way prevented the type of activities one would generally find in my good old hometown's Tenderloin District, (Yes, it exists), AKA sketch as hell. So our small foray into the night was decorated with not one but three dubious run-ins with the locals, one encounter with the Poughkeepsie cremation services, and a long and poorly lit round-a-bout walk home.

Yes, we got the cigars, no I would not do it again. Yes, I tried them, no I would not do it again. 

I've got some fabulously entertaining Bio reading sitting here on the chair next to me. I'll report back when I actually feel like my brain is working again (bio has a funny habit of squeezing it dry and then doing a little steam ironing).